Taking Down the Apple Tree

It was a summer afternoon about ten or so years ago. Daniel and Thomas were helping their grandpa take down the diseased apple tree that was an eyesore in the back yard. Axes were flying and I was worrying; worrying is what I do best.

“It scares me that I can’t protect them “from suffering.” I said, meaning Daniel and Thomas. This comment to my father was about axes, but it was also about disease, divorce, depression. There are so many things we can’t protect our kids from.

Without missing a beat Dad replied, “The really powerful witnesses for Christ are those who have experienced catastrophes - drugs, alcohol, disabling accidents.” (Dad is legendary for his comforting answers.)

That answer has haunted me for years. If my kids have to suffer to be powerful witnesses for Christ, I think I'll pass. If my friends have to suffer, I’d like to pass on that, too.

One of the painful things about the Sunday prayer time at my church is that it reminds me week after week about my friends who are suffering. Honestly, I’m not big into suffering. Why does it need to be so much a part of our lives?

In my reading recently, I have been reminded that Israel’s slavery in Egypt, their suffering in the wilderness, and their battles to enter the Promised Land all drove them back to a dependence on God.

The suffering in our lives makes our relationship with God real. It is one thing to learn about Jesus in Sunday school, to talk about him to fellow believers, to present him with a daily laundry list of prayer requests. But the suffering in difficult times confronts me with a concrete, here and now, choice: trust God to take care of me or don't trust. Trusting is hard.

Faith in God is not belief in a body of knowledge, not something you can learn from a book, or a Sunday school teacher, or even a parent. Faith in God happens when I, personally, choose to be in relationship with him.

Suffering isn’t the only way that happens. But it is one important way.