Depression and "Pure" Relationships

An article in Christianity Today explained that relationships in our culture have become increasingly "pure," that is, increasingly "detached from any social context, external structure, or security." The impact of this is that "there is no covenant, community, or being [I think the implication here is that our commitment to God creates a sort of covenant or community] to orient the relationship or provide ongoing assurance, direction, and support."

All of the energy to continue a "pure" relationship must be generated within the relationship itself, and that can be a significant burden sapping strength from the participants in the relationship. The maintenance of one of these relationships is exhausting, because we can never relax. "There is no pledge of fidelity or constancy on which to rest."

And constant vigilance takes its toll. Since we cannot be renewed by the relationship but most be continually renewing the relationship by our "perfection," we have to draw strength from elsewhere. Enter the fast-food culture of quick fixes - chocolate, escape through movies or video games or shopping, alcohol and other drugs.

Why should I get married, join a church, start a book group? Relationships based on commitment help us eliminate distortions in our thoughts about ourselves. Members of a group give each other a sense of belonging that counteracts the depressive's sense that he or she is not as good as others. Spouses provide a safety net when the depressive feels incapable of facing the future. And a member of a community, whether church or book group, has evidence on a regular basis that she or he is of significant value to others.

This is just my summary of the article The Depression Epidemic by Dan G. Blazer, a Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science at Duke University medical center - but I thought it worth sharing.